The Art of Conversation
When I was little I used to sit around the table and listen to my Mom and all my aunts talk. I remember thinking
how amazing it was that all those women knew when to talk, when to listen, and how to tell really funny
The art of conversation is not natural to everyone and if you aren’t good at it there are some helpful tips that
can help make it easier and allow you to relax and enjoy the conversation.
One really helpful idea is to be confident. You can do that by having confident people around you, who can model
that for you and help you by boosting your confidence. If
you feel good about yourself, you will be more at ease and relaxed during a conversation.
Another is to find out what you can about someone before you spend time with them. If you are going on a blind
date ask the person setting you up what they know about the other person. If you can get a little background
information you will have some starting points work with, like where he/she went to school, where they grew up or
if they like sports.
Then next great way is to ask questions. And there was a reason you wanted to speak with this person, so
hopefully there are some places you already have in mind to begin. You can ask them what they did over the weekend,
what sports if any do they play, etc…. Then ask clarifying questions to help keep the conversation moving
This next one is so important and so many people don’t know how to do, and that is to listen. You need to really
listen to what they are saying. Acknowledge with a shake of your head or a noise, but do not interrupt. Let them
finish what they are saying before you add anything or ask another question. And when you do talk show that you
were listening by rephrasing what was said.
Also, don’t panic if things get quiet for a moment or two. For one the person may be mulling something over and
might want a moment to think it through, or they may want a break from talking which allows you to interject
something or take the conversation in a new direction by asking a question that changes the subject.
Understand that just because a conversation isn’t going well does not mean it is your fault. The other person
may be having a bad day or may have something on their mind distracting them from focusing on the conversation.
Finally, know when the conversation is over. Every conversation, good or bad has to come to a close at some
point. Make sure to end on a positive note, if possible, by smiling, thanking them for talking with you and saying
goodbye. There could even be a handshake or a hug depending on your relationship with the individual.
The art of conversation is not easy for everyone, but with practice and the tips outlined above, anyone can
improve their conversational skills and build blissful
relationships with other people.
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